Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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