I heard we made out
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
