I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
