so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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