We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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