she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
