Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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