you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
