I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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