omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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