Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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