Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
