do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize