Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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