I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
