girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
