my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
