So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
