I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
