All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
