We're like a lot better than the average bears
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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