In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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