laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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