took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize