I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
