So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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