Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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