if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize