Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
