Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize