So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
