i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
