Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
