No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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