The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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