Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
