About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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