i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
