Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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