So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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