he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize