Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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