i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I love you. Go after that dick
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
