She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
