Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
