he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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