Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
