Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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