I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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