If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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