We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
