all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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