11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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