You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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