Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize