I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
