He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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