I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
