ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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