the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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