new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
