i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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