Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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