we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
