It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
