watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
